Surrendering Success
Can I be honest? It’s been hard trying to be #successful (insert Trey Songz voice and the eye rolling emoji ). We all want life to go as planned, shea butter and coconut oil equals #BlackGirlMagic right? See, society has this crazy way of making you feel so far behind. Social media is the breeding ground of discontentment. I know I find myself mindlessly scrolling for hours, sucked into the next person’s highlight reel. We become so caught up on everyone else’s vision of success, we look up from our screens, and we haven’t even begun accomplishing our own. Let alone figure out what it looks like. This seems to be my own struggle.
Don’t get me wrong following pages and blogs that promote what you would like to accomplish in the near future can be great forms of motivation, but, we must be ever so careful to rid our heart of foolish comparisons and our souls of jealousy and hatred. Yeah, I said it, you’re a hater.
If we’re honest, we all are to some extent. I know I often find myself rolling my eyes and sucking my teeth at the next amazingly successful black woman I see on Instagram. “Again?!” “Ugh, look at her, graduating with a perfect twist-out! Unfair!” This, my dear, is a heart issue. What gives me any right to assume that I know her struggle or why she is so excited to achieve her accomplishment. It reminds me of a Jonathon McReynolds song, “Comparison Kills” from his recent album “Make Room”. The song speaks of how we spend hours on end admiring other peoples lives which in turn, hinders us from living our own.
Now you may be wondering, Kristian, you titled this “Surrendering Success”, but you haven’t explained how to actually surrender success? I know, I get it, but please wait…. See, in all honesty, I haven’t really surrendered, at least not fully. But, I want to. As a Christian, (If you couldn’t tell, I love Jesus!) I know that this world’s idea of success is far from truth. Our society equates success to how much you can obtain in both material and monetary possessions. On the contrary, God’s idea of success is obtaining our Heavenly reward. Fulfilling His will for our lives. The ONLY way one can truly surrender success is to lay society’s definition at the altar and leave it there.
I want you all to really know who it is that is writing this blog. I’m in no way a success story, at least not based on our world’s definition. I graduated high school at the ripe old age of 18. I was super excited about life and everything was going according to plan, my plan. I went to college and things were going well, at first. After my first few semesters, I found myself stuck. Completely stuck. Can you say #failing? I ended up flunking out of college at the age of 19. I have always been an extremely intelligent young woman, I just assumed I knew where I was going and what I was doing . Well, I found myself with no degree, no intentions on returning to obtain one, and in a very deep depression. On more than one occasion, I considered taking my own life.
When your identity is sacrificed at the altar of people’s opinions, it makes suicide after failure not seem so drastic. I had to learn who I was. I had to learn my identity in Christ. The purpose being so that I would no longer need to look at the world for validation, but, so that I would in turn, look to the Word for validation.
Look, surrendering success is NOT easy. You may read this and think, “Yeah, Kristian, that sounds nice, but, you don’t know what if feels like when everyone is passing you by.” No, in actuality, I do. I know exactly how it feels. It’s not good. But, we must come to the understanding that God’s plan is so much greater than our own.
Below are a few Bible verses to help you when you find you’re beginning to compare your life to everyone other than Jesus Christ.
Jeremiah 29:11 AMP
‘For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you’, says the Lord, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope.
Proverbs 16:3 AMP
Commit your works to the LORD [submit and trust them to Him], And your plans will succeed [if you respond to His will and guidance].
Proverbs 16:9 AMP
A man’s mind plans his way [as he journeys through life], But the LORD directs his steps and establishes them.
